“Do you believe in love, the kind that’s so consuming it lasts forever?”
I always ask people this question, and then listen intently to the words they don’t say. Some will insist love doesn’t exist in this world and others will shrug and explain how love eventually fades away with time and obligations, trying their best to ‘logicalize’ the feeling (I know it’s a made-up word, but still!)
They act all tough and rough, like they don’t need love to survive. They make sarcastic comments about how when marriage comes through the door, love flies outside the window and how real friendships don’t exist, and how everyone must have an agenda or an ulterior motive blah blah blah… Yet, those same cynical people are probably the first ones to sob hysterically when a fictional character in a love story dies.
Because deep down, they’re just like the rest of us; they truly believe in the power of love. They need it and dream about it and still have hope one day they’ll find it. In our heart we know, true love exists somewhere, and without this subtle hope, we would have died and become worm food a long time ago!
The Five Stages Of Love:
Just like Prophet Adam’s happiness wasn’t complete without Eve; being in a close intimate relationship is an inborn need. Sharing your life with someone you love surely has its ups and downs, but like a ladder of emotions, here are the most basic stages:
Stage One: Infatuation
That’s the ‘SO NICE!’, ‘Oh my Gosh!’, hearts-in-the-eyes phase.
It’s that sudden attraction you feel which gives you butterflies in your stomach and leaves you weak in knees. This rush is probably the best part, but let’s face it, it has very little to do with real love.
Stage Two: Happiness
You know those people who flutter their eyes and say “I’m so blessed” it makes you want to punch them in the face? Yes, they’re probably starting the ‘Love is Blind and Happy’ phase when you’re finally together, getting to know each other and the light of ‘complete denial to each other’s flaws’ shines on your new relationship. Unfortunately, this stage is short-lived too.
Stage Three: The Tipping Point
After a while, differences, obligations, conflicts and trials eventually pop your happy pink bubble, and you’re faced with the reality that nothing and no one is perfect. You start reassessing your loved one, feeling your life had taken a wrong turn and left you as a helpless victim in the arms of someone who watches you suffer daily. A lot of people get stuck in this level, and lose faith in the whole concept of lasting love. This is the most dangerous stage of any relationship; the one that can make it or break it.
Stage Four: Peace
Only those who truly believe in the power of love will survive the previous level and reach this one. Because they learn to give the benefit of the doubt to arrive at a peaceful state of acceptance; gratefulness during the good times and patience during the tough times.
Stage Five: True Love
Now we are talking! This is the ultimate level and it belongs to those who love to love their loved ones. The good times and the bad blend together into perfection; they see it all as surreal. When you love someone this much, the sound of their name fills you with joy.
The ground they touch, the letters they send and the things they love… are all treasured in your heart more than anything else in this world. The truest, purest, most beautiful feeling of all; this is the kind of love we all yearn for and have faith will find someday! This is the love that we call ‘real’.
Now, honest question:
Which stage of love are you stuck in when it comes to Allah?
Are you in stage one, drowning in incidental infatuation because He gave you something you’ve always wanted like a good job or a child after years of anguish? Or are you stage two, the happiness phase of marveling at His powers, miracles and creation as you slowly get to know Him?
Have you reached the tipping point yet? It’s okay, you can tell me. God knows we have all been there. When you’re grieving, scared or feeling lonely and lost… and you fall into stage three; a pit of darkness where you start wondering why Allah lets you suffer.
Why your life is a mess while others have got it all together. Do you still remember your Lord is perfect, and ask Him to ease the pain? Or do you walk away, give up and crumble to the ground?
Do you rise to stage four and find the peace to submit to His will, knowing you must remain patient because Allah does everything for a good reason?
Have you reached the highest and purest level of love to the only One who deserves it, your Merciful Creator, the One and Only Lord?
Because if you truly love Allah the way you think you do, you’ll want to want what He wants and love what He loves. You’ll have this constant smile on your face, utterly adoring Him. You’ll worship Him because you love Him, not because you have to!
If you truly love Him, you’ll think of His words as a cherished letter and read them over and over till you understand and memorize them. You’ll wish for private time alone with Him, listening to what He has to say….
Do you believe in the kind of love that lasts forever? It does exist and it is engraved in your heart. You just need to allow yourself to feel its spiritual energy.
As you go through the five stages, read and absorb the perfect and beautiful words of your Beloved…
The keys to happiness, peace and true love are right here in one book written by the One who loves you the most…
It’s called the Holy Quran….